Hi so this is what i did this weekend

I have been in such an odd mood. I had a F the world kinda attitude on Saturday morning where I have been listening to Nickelback Rockstar I don't know why I just Love that song. Thanksgiving wasn't so bad I controlled myself I didn't even put on a pound so I'm Please with that. I met with my physio therapist last week about my knee she wants me to do 3 days of cardio for 20 minutes no more and no less. Because of my fybromyalgia consistency is important for me. She said I can do my boxing if i Don't push myself. I went to the gym twice yesterday and today for my 20min each of cardio. I did some weights too and starting to feel achy it's not even 9 and I think I'm going to call it a night. I had a comment from someone who said that me trying to loose 40 pounds in two months is crazy. I would like to say I agree it is crazy but it's necessary. I want to move to Canada and this is my option because i slacked off I knew I would have a medical but this is all the time I left myself and I will be damned if I don't loose that weight!! So I'm proud of me for going to the gym I have been fairly good I have denied myself cake twice I have had a few small treats but have limited myself and will continue to do so. Well I hope everyone had a good holiday now I need to prepare myself for Christmas it's right around the corner!!

40 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS

OK THIS IS GOING TO SOUND CRAZY BUT I HAVE TO LOOSE ABOUT 40 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS. WE FOUND OUT FOR IMMIGRATION THERE IS A WEIGHT LIMIT ANT ITS 252 POUNDS. SO HERE I GO I BETTER START GETTING MY CRAP TOGETHER OTHERWISE MY HUSBAND WILL BE GOING TO CANADA WITHOUT ME AND I WILL BE STUCK HERE. ITS DEPRESSING BUT I'M GOING TO DO IT NO MATTER HOW I DO IT IT WILL BE DONE!!!!! GOD SAVE ME!!!

Exercising

So you all know I was/am doing the south beach diet. I am finding it hard to go back and do no carbs (i mean bread pasta and rice the good tasting ones). Thanksgiving is this week I am determined not to pig out seeing as I am the one cooking I should be able to control some aspects of that. So you can see I posted a new weight. I was sick as noted in a previous blog and was told by the doctors to eat some carbs like bread and rice to help with the stomach problem. Since I fell off the wagon lol I haven't started again. Though I have been controlling the portions and to some extent what I eat. For example last week i bought a bar of kit kats it comes with four sticks i ate 2 of the sticks. Do you know how many calories are in one bar?? Something like 200+. I decided it wasn't worth eating 4 to have up to 800 calories on something that wasn't going to make me full i could eat like 15plates of vegetables for that amount lol. I also went to the coffee shop and got this chocolate twist pastry thing and i gave half of it to my friend (who knew i could share food?) and I got a little treat of shortbread and what are those hard things that look like cookies called again. Well the point is I only had one of each and that was on Saturday and I still have the whole pack left. Since stopping the diet like 3weeks ago I have still maintained a 5pound weight loss. Though I have gained 5 back that's expected. I will be doing the two weeks again and I pray for my stomach not to be sick again.

This weekend I went to a cardio kick boxing class. I did it very low impact and found myself unable to breath. I was so embarrassed that i couldn't do everything they were they were jumping over benches and doing loads of steps. But at the end I had a few people come up to me and say good job. Maybe it's better to see a fat person at the gym then any where else. At least they know I am trying. My shirt kept rising up too and i kept trying to pull it down to cover the fat roll. Needless to say If I can get my ass out of bed next Saturday morning I will go again. Oh and I am still aching. It hurts to sit, walk,stand, move my arms!! The motto from the US Marines is 'Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body' That's what i tell myself. I sweat like crazy too. Now just to loose some more. My father in law is coming for Christmas and I know he already thinks badly of me because I'm fat so I have to loose weight because last time he saw me i was 30 pounds lighter then I am now. I would also like to be able to wear some nice stuff especially the clothes I already have but my weight outgrew. I expect everyone else to post honest blogs during the Holidays so I don't feel all left alone. I will post again later this week. Bye

Ok

So I was going to start back on the diet yesterday but realised we had no healthy food in the house. Seeing as I don't drive I have made a list for him to go to the store today to get some healthy stuff. I am going to do two weeks of Phase 1 of Sb Diet again because I'm a pig and ate a whole cheesecake this weekend and feel guilty for it. I'm sure I put back on some of the weight. After eating what at the time looked like appealing cheese cake. My stomach hurt I felt bloated and well I threw up. I didn't eat the whole thing at one time obviously. Toast doesn't have the same appeal as it once had I still Love bread but it's not the same. I have done better at monitoring my intake and not over eating things which is an Improvement. I feel Like I'm loosing some of my readers I haven't gotten very many comments. Thanks to you guys who do comment though. Yesterday I but a pair of Jeans from Lane Bryant They were the baby phat ones the looked so good so I got them and I got them in a size 20 at the moment that is wish full thinking. However when i can fit into them I will put up a picture. We are going out for dinner tonight. Tomorrow I start again. I have to loose that weight for the medical exam for Canada. No more games, It's serious for my health and for my life. I didn't make it to the gym. My physical therapy on my knee starts Monday so hopefully that will help. I think I am getting a cold you know when of those chest colds ugh!!! Well I hope everyone is doing well. Be strong during thanksgiving!! Have a Happy Holiday to all my American Readers. I'm trying to decide if i should make a chicken for thanksgiving seeing as I'm celebrating it in England!!

I feel like Crap

UGH I hate having a permanent illness. I feel like crap. I have done absolutly nothing today. I have no excuse for eating fattening food like potatoe augratton or cheese cake before you know it I will just put on the 10 pounds I lost plus some. I havent even eaten proper meals today just snacking because I'm to achy to stand in front of the stove and stir. I do realise when I am doing the diet that I am not actualy on a no carb diet it is the low carb diet. I just hope I can get my butt to do the last week of phase two on the south beach diet. I fail because I have no will power!!! I am telling myself I will start again tomorrow. Now this is really sad but I am off to bed even though it's not even 5pm yet. It's time for some sleep!!!

Update

OK so here we go. I have been struggling to do the second week of my no carb diet other then bran flakes i haven't had any bread as of yet but it's still morning. I go in occasionally and get weighed at the nurses because i take xenical to aid in weight loss. So I have had a total of 10 pound weight loss. I'm now at around 290 to 292. Added to that i tried on a pair of size 26 pants and low and behold they FIT still a bit tight around that roll of fat at the bottom of my stomach but before i couldn't even get them on. I was wearing a size 30 pants the largest size I have ever worn. I'm still not proud of my size 26 but its a hell of a lot better than a 30!

I had one really great day this week I got weighed and lost 10 pounds then I found out my paper work from the FBI came back so I can now start our Immigration process to Canada. Then I got promoted at work YEAH! So I can now earn a bit extra for that house we are buying in Canada.
I did have a low last night one of my fish died I had 7 and now I have five but one more of them is sick and I expect he will pass today. I know they are only fish but still. I had just bought 3 of the four that died I expect the original 3 were bulling the little fish. Anyway here is another attempt with no carbs for a week. Can we hope for another excellent 10 pound weight drop. GOD PLEASE!!! Maybe I will get my butt down to the gym this weekend we will SEE.

Day 13

So I went to the gym today and did 20 minutes and I pushed my self.

*I weighed myself and since day 1 there has been a loss between 5 and 6 pounds YEAH!

I haven't got back on the diet yet it should be tomorrow. Seeing as my tummy is starting to feel better. Any way I'm proud of myself. I had a dentist apt yesterday it was a killer they cleaned under my gums by my sore tooth and I believe they removed a little bit of the gum as well. Painful added to that I was walking towards the taxi home and I fell in front of everyone and further hurt myself three people rushed over to help me then I ended up standing on the guys foot and almost falling again. Jeez I was mortally Embarrassed 294 pounds falls hard. Well thats all my latest news I thought you all might want to hear its certainly a start!

Day 11

I have been sick I haven't done the diet since early Sunday. It was recommend by a doctor to have some carbs during this illness. I don't want to go into details because it will just gross you out lol. Still feeling a bit rubbish. Hopefully i will be better in a few days and continue where I left off at day 7. How is everyone else doing?