Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Growing tired of myself

So I got tired of reading all my blog posts that are exactly the same. So I took most of them that happened in the last year off.

So just a quick overview.

So Aug last year I gave up on Brad which was good timing. Sept Shawn came back, and left again, random. October there was Tim, the cute charming 23yr old from New Brunswick. Loved the accent. I love east coasters. Didn't stick around for more then a month. He woulda been a keeper. Of course I obsessed over Brad Shawn and mostly Tim. Oh Tim.

October I hit 230lbs wohoo. Talked at a convention held by the owner of GL fitness. Where I was working at the time, pt, sorting out my health. November pretty sure that's when I hit my -85lb weight loss weighing in at 227. Marriage baggage over. I believe November I started at the Chronic Pain Centre. My car also crapped out. December I had lunch with my ex husband and his gf so they could apologise for the way they treated me. Whatever past is in the past. It's history for a reason. Got my beautiful white Christmas dress that my friends bought me for hitting my goal. There was dan, that was so brief he's not even worth mentioning. My creepy roommate moved to BC and I got my new awesome Aussie housemate.

I dated some othere guys here and there before the new year but they were shitty dates. I obviously spent too much time obsessing over guys who really didn't matter, that I shouldn't have let into my life in the first place.

New Year, spent it alone. Feb started seeing Taylor. Who I spent a good amount of time with for two months. We became good friends. April I met Troy. I call him my fallen angel. He was one of the most beautiful men I've had in my life, next to Tim. Troy was trouble. Tim was just sweet. *sigh I dont even know, I'm delussional sometimes. I have a hard time letting people go.

I now longer worked for GL as of April
After Easter mon I took a sabbatical from sex. We're in the middle of Aug and I'm still going strong. Almost faultered once, recently. I spazzed and couldn't do it. It's not what I'm looking for and after all my obsessing I learned that I deserve better. Gotta hold out for the right one.

May I decided to try and go back to work FT . I deleted my online dating account in either May or June. It wasn't getting me anywhere but heart broken and I had been bitching about it for how many years?

We're in Aug and I dont have a job again. Trying not to panic and still trying to get my shit together. Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

My Family-

Mom came to visit in July, had a great time. First time I saw her in two years and it went pretty well.

My sister got her first apartment with her boyfriend.

My Brother just got into pierce college. My nephew turned one.

My other two Brothers in NY one turned 14 and the other 18. My step mother who I dont talk to was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I'm hoping she can fight it but it was a double mastectomy. I pray for the best for my brothers sake.

My Biological father turned 50 this year. I haven't seen him or my brother in 13yrs.

I'm gunna start making changes to my life.