Thursday, May 19, 2011

Rainy Thursday Morning

Why am I awake at 4.30am? I'm so tired. It's beautiful, the black sky, raindrops hitting the window and birds chirping, I can only imagine they're playing in the rain. I wish I could wake up to that all the time. It's more peaceful when it's dark out.

Yesterday I saw two of my doctors, got an unexpected injection into my neck. The last time I had one of these it was a steroid. I think this one was anesthetic it was injected into the muscle right below my ear. Actually didn't hurt that bad. It does now that the anesthetic's worn off hurts to turn my head side to side. The injections are used as a nerve blocker to reduce pain... Let's see if this one works.

Yesterday was an awesome day. I got unexpected money in my bank account and today I received my tax refund. After my doctors appointment I went and got mani/pedi's with my best friend Niki and then we grabbed some lunch. I think it has been at least 7 months since I've had Chinese food. It was sooo good. We got some wontons or what the Canadians tend to call pork dumplings. My nails look fantastic, classic french on the toes and black tips with a diamond on the hands. Soo me.

Today we're going to the mall, get me some new clothes. My other best friend Kirstyn gets a sweet discount at sport check cause she works for head office. New DC's baby, I've had my eye on a pair of mens ones cause the womens selection is gay. They're black with beautiful blue DC. I know you're thinking I dont care about your skate shoes. You know what, I do. I LOVE DC! I want to get a hat at west 49 but Kirstyn wont let me. Eff u Kirstyn I'll just go buy it without you. I'm not nearly as girly as she is. She just doesn't get my look. I have a leather jacket she wont let me wear and now I'm all self conscious about it when it's a bomb ass jacket. Whatever I'll be investing in an aviator one eventually.

I'm kinda gunna miss my medical team when I go back to work. I mean I know I'll see them again just every few months. Unless it doesn't work out of course. I'm trying to get prepared for it. Start getting my body into a routine so it's not a shock to the system. With chronic fatigue you have to do that. I meet a new doctor today who may be prescribing me some meds. Yay more meds... :( maybe it'll help who knows.

Oh so I smashed one hand in a van door this week, nice bruise... then the next day I burnt the other one. My mom's like "what's god trying to teach you... keep your hands to yourself probably." Of course I said I have been. It's true.

I had a good conversation with my roommate yesterday about relationships. He's kinda got a girlfriend now. It was funny I asked him if it was official he doesn't know he doesn't do the relationship stuff. I laughed. He's kinda going through the same predicament I usually go through but of course he's in the guys spot. It's nice hearing a guys thoughts on relationships.

I'm not really looking for anything anymore. It's summertime, I dont need to be tied down. I'll be out more, meeting new people. That should keep me entertained. I go online just to check my messages. You never know. I don't think that's really how I'm going to meet someone meaningful. I mean I know people have but not me... Niki's was saying the other day how it's brought me nothin but problems a divorce, douch bags, douche canoes and more douche bags. I laughed cause she's right. The douche canoe is Taylor hahaha.

It's weird how when a relationship ends that the blinders come off and you shrug and think what was I thinking this guys a prick and I put up with a lot of crap. To be honest I think the hottest guys I've had were Troy Tim and Shawn. All very different in personality and appearance. I'd say Troy has the bad boy look about him. Great fashion sense. More Urban than anything. I nicknamed him Trouble lol. Tim has the jock look about him. Pretty boy face with a rough edge. Shawn was a really hot nerd with a great fashion sense. First time I saw him he had holy jeans, flip flops, and this tight t on. His tattoo looked so hot.

My confidence has grown a lot with all of these experiences. With Troy I just walked over to him bent down and kissed him on the couch. I knew he was into me so I just made a move. I like this new quality. This confidence. I just have to remember that I am sexy and confident and most guys would sleep with me so just be chill. I am the cool confident chick... at least thats what I repeat over and over so I don't forget it. Sometimes it works lol. If I had to describe me I'd say a hot dork. Sometimes I come off as cool but more often then not I'm a total dork. It's ok, you know i've gotten a lot of these lately "Elli, how can anyone not like you." Most people love me, there are the few who dont. Personality conflicts, whatevs.

Did I tell u the people who bullied me in Highschool are on my facebook. How weird is that. They added me. Nice to know they grew up. I try not to keep hard feelings towards anyone. Though there are a few people who I'll never forgive for making my life hell. It's made me a stronger person though for sure. I don't take shit from people. I'm not afraid of a confrontation anymore. You're not as likely to get jumped here for speaking your mind as u would in Cali. Unless you're walking down the red mile wearing a canucks jersey. Hahaha.

Anyway life's been pretty good the last few weeks. Dealing with my friends cheating drama. Do you know how many people cheat on their boyfriends? I swear I'm the only one who's never cheated. I call these morals. I'm not judgemental but I have to be honest I don't really want to meet the dudes you're cheating on your boyfriend with unless you're dumping your boyfriend and getting with this dude. People just off load their relationship baggage on me. Apparently I give good advice. Just like me though they never listen.

I had a crazy night the other night. I ended up way in the NE at some dudes house who used to be a piercer at a shop. I've been kinda interested in getting a tongue ring and my hood pierced. My gf was going so she could get her nipples and hood pierced. I love her son sooo much. He's like my own kid. I watch him whenever she needs a break. Anyway I decided not to at this time but boy that was a long night.

I might be flying my mom out for Stampede. I havent seen her in two years and she's really wanted to go. So I figure whats a few hundred bucks if I get to see my mom and make her happy?

Alright, I better head back to bed. I'm way too tired.