Saturday, July 17, 2010

Born To Walk Away ... Peace Out

In my 24 years of life I have had so much hurt. People walking all over me treating me like shit. I'm done with that. People may see it as me being a bitch but it's my life and I just want good people in my life. Anyone who brings me down I'm saying peace out. I don't need that shit.

A supposed friend of mine yesterday said I don't care about ur "little friends". Fuck you I don't give a shit about the handful of guys u have on the go either. You cause you're own problems. You're dramatic and rude and u bring nothing good to my life ... peace out.

I call my mom and she's like you're calling early you woke everyone up. What's up? Why the fuck would I want to talk to you after you said that to me. Sorry for bothering u mom and being an annoying inconvenience ... Honestly I forgot about the time difference and I said that and she carried on about that. I knew she was awake I just didn't think about the time difference and everyone else who's sleeping ... peace out mom.

The newbie is gone. No surprise ... If I don't walk away then they do ... peace out

My heart still hurts over douche, I miss him. I hate him for making me feel this hurt. I hate him for never giving me a chance. I hate him for the false promises. I'm not dumb. He may have had a slight inclination to see me again but that faded fast. I'm guessing when some other chick paid him some interest. Whatever, you have done nothing for me. The one time where u made me feel beautiful that's all you've done for me. Now over shadowed by the fact u don't want me cause I'm fat. Why do I still try. Cause I fell fast and hard for u that's why, as soon as I saw u I felt it ... you don't want me ... peace out.

To my ex husband ... I accepted you left me. I accepted it when u got a gf. I accept her because she makes u happy and she seems like a nice person. I accept the fact that you want to have a family with her but you never wanted one with me.I let you go because I wanted you to be happy, and I am so happy that you're happy. I don't miss you. Us splitting up was for the best. I'm happier now. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me I wish we could have stayed friends, but you just want to erase me from your life like I never existed ... peace out.

To everyone who has ever said something hurtful to me ... fuck you ... peace out!

Walking away is my specialty ... the amount of times I've moved and had to leave people behind ... I was born to walk away.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Not holding back

Sooo fuck i'm in a bad mood.

I call my mom who is too self involved right now to listen to anyone elses issues. Well except when she's at work cause obv it's her job to listen to other peoples problems. They were supposed to be coming to visit me on Monday but they aren't now cause my sisters passport is expired. GAY!!!!

Douche bag I swear to god. So the other week he randomly texts me to bother me at night just to tell me "I like skinny girls". Fuck you ass hole you're full of shit. You may prefer smaller girls but you sure have had plus size gf's in the past and u shouldn't sleep with people if ur not interested in them. Anyhow. He texts me again at like 11:30 on sat tripping out cause he thought I had a bf. Then tells me that he's a relationship kinda guy and that he'll come out next time. The next morning of course he was like I was drunk I don't want anything from you. I'm sorry ok. NO NOT OK!!!! I told him so too :). Just how I felt but I'm a good enough person to tell him that I sincerely hopes he has a good life. Fuck he's dumb. Oh and he deletes me from FB but keeps me on MSN. What a tool!!! I wont delete him and yah I know that makes me dumb too. I have no intentions of talking to him, if he wants to talk to me he knows where I'm at. I take it he doesn't, whatever like my brother said there are billions of men out there and not one are the same and on that note ...

So I went out with this guy on Saturday cause I fig douche is a douche and it's time to date again. I like the newbie. He's sweet. We got some coffee/tea went for a walk in the park. Made out at two benches and a tree which he has now renamed the makeout bench. We got together again on sun. Watched a movie at his place ... lol. Then we went out Tue. I was gunna cook for him but those plans got kinda messed up. We went to the cinema to see eclipse. I was going to the machine to pay and he called me back and had like two paid ticket things. It was so sweet. Then in the movie he put his arm around me and held my hand. I went back to his place for a bit after. I text him yest to see if he still wanted to go to the zoo... I got nothin. Trying not to stress it. He could be busy. Time will tell. If not he was a nice guy and I had a good time. It was nice to be treated right for once. I do hope i hear from him tho :) he seems like a good guy genuinely and I wouldn't mind if he sticks around for a while.

I got the job at the gym. Yay!!! I start mon. I get a free membership too. Not brilliant money but hey ho i didn't take the job for the money, I took it to change my life.

I'm just frustrated. Tho happy that I got a job, went on 3 nice dates with a sweetheart who's adorable. I have an awesome roommate tho he's messy lol, messier then me. Cool neighbors who like to kick it, and good friends. I leave in 18 days for Cali and I can't wait to get out of Calgary for a bit. Life is attempting to treat me well and all I have to say is Thank you life.

Oh the bet ... fuck let's not discuss that till i hit the 230's.