I went to the gym today and did 20min of cardio and a little bit of weights. I managed to do more of the cross trainer then normal (it's very similar to the elliptical machine) I did 13 minutes today before my legs felt like fire. And sad i know but i did 7 minuets of the cycling machine. We then went to the little cafe there and again people were looking at me. Maybe i should get a new gym kit that covers every inch of me. It just angers me. I also saw someone who i normally speak to at the gym but haven't seen because i haven't been there in ages. I told him i gained some weight and was trying to loose it. He said he could tell I gained a bit of weight. He said it kindly but no one wants to hear that. It is Obvious in every part of me you look at.
At the little cafe i noticed my husband looking at this girl. I said hey do it a little less obviously. He said he cant help if she's pretty. I said she's not that pretty she has chunky thighs (by the way I'm Bi)I also thought she was wearing too much make-up but kept that to myself. He said "What she's gorgeous". I said when I loose all my weight you better tell me that. I don't blame him for looking hell i notice hot men. We were watching rugby last night and I said hey can't you get some thighs like that yum. My husband is very slender he has a runners body and probably doesn't weigh more than 140 pounds at the most (bastard lol j/k).
I went to the store today to pick up stuff for the SB diet it looked gross but I'm hoping it isn't all that bad maybe it will give me some variety. I am tired of eating chicken and mashed potatoes all the time. So I will eat the last bit of white bread that i will be able to have for a long time and enjoy my last night of being fat. From here on out we will have a RESULT I PROMISE IT!
I'm tired of being fat. 1yr of suffering or a life time of stares snickering fat clothes and breathless walks up hills and stairs!
Thanks to all of you have commented it makes me feel a whole lot better. It just feels like i will never be able to do it and a year seems like such a long time. I know it will go by quick it always does. The end result will be worth it.