Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Taking a break from dating

I can't figure out how to close my pof. So I'm taking a break from it. I just went out with this guy named Brad. Not Brad the original Brad the II as I call him. You can't beat the original. I totally bailed on the date and he took me to a flames game. I felt so bad. I warned him I'm kinda skiddish. I don't like to be pressured. He turned out to not even be my type. I only saw a side profile pic. It was just a fucked up situation. I'm done dating tho.

I either get creeps or douche bags. This dude was both. I'm not going into detail. I wish I could figure out how to delete my stupid account. I don't have the energy for these games.

I had my two hour doctors apt today. It was extensive. We spent about 45min going over my health history. Then the other hour and a half doing a physical and talking about options. The apt went over 2hrs. It wasn't a regular physical. They test my reflexes, they test my flexibility. They rub cotton on my skin and poke me with a safety pin. I had my eyes ears and mouth checked. Did u know they make a marijuana pill. That's what the dr said. I didn't know that, that's interesting. I may need injections. I have to see the physio therapist the psychologist the social worker and the kinseolgist. Then in the new year I'll see my doctor again and they can determine the treatment they want to proceed with. It's pretty much process of elimination when it comes to medicine and treatment. They wont be able to get rid of the pain they are just trying to minimize it. I have a bunch of classes I have to go to too.

All I want is someone who can chill the fuck out. No preasure but someone who suits me. Just chill and relax with. I'm not looking anymore. I need a break. I'm still kinda bummed about Tim. I always think about Brad the original, not being with him. Just how fucked up a situation that was and remembering the times I enjoyed. They all run through my mind. Tim and Shawn were by far the sweetest. Tim was more real tho. It wasn't awkward with him. He's such a dick. I haven't tried to talk to him. There isn't any point in tripping on him. I've wanted to text him good thing I deleted him. Brad the original, I wanted to talk to him too he's deleted but I remember his phone number. I figure I'll forget eventually. For some reason I'm his friend on MSN I don't even know how that happened. I mean he was on my msn but he wasn't a friend b4. Life is so weird.

My friend and her bf of 4yrs broke up today. It made me so sad. I cried a little. She asked me how I coped after my divorce. I told her I didn't eat for a week. I hardly slept and I read the twilight saga. Book 2 was such a bitch to read, it made it harder. I told her after I finished that book I realized I needed someone who really loves me in my life. I hope she'll be ok. I just want her to feel better. I feel other peoples pain when they are hurting. I just wish I could help.

Anyway I've been in agony the cold is killing me oh and get this something else is wrong with me the doctor cant remember what she called it but I get cold hands and feet. Something to do with poor circulation.

I'm going to eat the oatmeal my roommate is making me then I'm going to pass out.