Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Curve Ball

Life likes to throw curve balls at you. So anyone who knows me or cares about me knows what happened last month and why I'm moving. I found a place. It's unique lol. I think I chose this place because I knew it would be interesting and have character. It's in a great location. I know nothing about downtown and I'm kinda scared about it. I mean seriously with all that I've been through and all that I've seen I'm afraid to live downtown. I think what it is, is that this is the first time I've done something completely 100% on my own. It's freaking me out. It will be a new experience and I think it's just what I need.

I am realizing a lot of things the last couple of weeks. I'm changing a lot, I've changed a lot. In a lot of ways life has made me harder in the last year. It has also made me appreciate the good things in life and the good people that have entered my life. It's also making me realize what kind of person I want to have in my life and how I want to be treated by people. What is and is not acceptable.

I booked my tickets back home. I'm looking forward to it. Seeing my friends. It's prob going to end up being a poor financial choice on my part. However I need to get away from here for a little while. The guy I like came back from Vegas and everything went exactly as I expected it to, he's ridiculous. I never listen to people. This is my problem. I'm fucking stubborn and my heart and head say two different things ... the head is finally starting to win. The heart can only take so much. Whatever. It's time ... it's been almost a year since I started talking to him. Of course I still want him but he says he's busy and what that says to me is your not important enough for me to make time for. I can't be dumb anymore. I look like a fool.