Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The New Year

So it's a new year. Thank fuck for that right ?? My BFF just came to visit. He's gone now and I miss him already. My other BFF called me from Japan and I missed it, gutted.

I realize that I've lost myself. I come across as very confident. I also realize I'm socially awkward, when I walk in somewhere on my own. I've lost the creative side to me; creating art and music. The last few years have taken a bit of a toll on me, I think. I also realize my Ex is a very nice person and I'm glad he's happy with his gf, I hope that at some point I get the opportunity to meet her. Divorce will be final soon which is good. I do hope we stay friends because good people don't come around often enough. I decided I was just going to be me and people can take me or leave me. I would rather be loved for me, so I can be the goofy nut that I am haha.

There is this guy I like. First time I've had feelings like this since I was 18. Kinda scary. I hope I get the opportunity to get to know him better. I get butterflies or aka anxiety lol. I wish I had the ability to read minds. That would be a usefull skill. If not maybe we'll be friends. I have a feeling he's been messed around by some fucked up chick. Hope he lets me in if that is the case.

Weightloss I'm getting back on track. I would like to start getting a gym routine. Maybe take some exercise classes. I miss boxing for real, but I need a boxing partner to use the boxing eqt at the gym. Really would like to learn how to board next winter. I'm still sick :( I have to get an MRI now and I'm on anti epeleptic medication. With a whole bunch of other meds. Hopefully we can find something to make it better. I miss my reg pay cheques. I want to buy stuff lol, being broke puts a cramp on it.

Well that's all I've got today. Thinking it is time for bed.