Just had the biggest blessing. Aish approved me. It's such a relief.
Remind me If Shawn trys to talk to me ever again to tell him to go fuck himself. I hate that guy.
Ben... I dont know. I liked him till he talked about hooking up with my friend... not cool. Dunno if hes bein serious or if he's just trying to get a rise out of me. Fuck my trust issues man. Way to make me like you less. At least I'm keeping it real. Who knows, I'm just getting to know him right. I think he's made it crystal that I'm prob just gunna be some chick to him. I really need to start hanging out with dudes who actually take me on dates. I just need to try not to get emotionally invested in this one, so I dont get hurt when he fucks off like the rest of them.
I do give him props for making an effort to see me tho. He's spent a fair bit of time with me, which is nice. Pops in by surprise. I know I'm being insecure. I just feel like I'm never good enough for anyone. That I'm not beautiful. I've just been made to feel ugly and useless by so many people. No matter how many of my friends tell me I'm beautiful I just cant see it.
Can I not just find someone who genuinly likes me and only me?
I'm in such a shitty mood. Fuckin in pain for the last week and a half.
Hoping things finally fall into place and I catch that much needed break.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Oh Fall
Love fall hate winter. Stupid winter is coming, I dont mind the snow but I hate the ice and the freezing temps, If I had a car I would hate driving in it too.
Soooo I spent some time with this dude named Ben last week. He's cool, I like him. Hope I get to spend more time with him. He's had an interesting life. The older I get the crazier peoples stories get. Including mine. He seems to be really honest, which I like. Tuesday he came over, we watched a movie, he met my best friend Kirstyn. He didn't try anything, I told him I wasnt looking to hook up. Couldnt really tell if he was into me. I mean I kinda thought but didnt want to assume. Cause he wasnt really coming onto me. He did tell me I'm gorgeous. He makes me smile. We kissed bye at the door.
I was totally thinking how awesome it would be if he came over the next morning and gave me cuddles... sure enough the next morning he asked if he could come crawl into bed with me... Totally made my week. He's so funny, he makes me laugh. "I'm cereal you guys" u had to be there. He's sweet too. I was having a smoke in my stoop, and he just rubbed my shoulders. I'm trying not to get my hopes up with seeing him again but I hope I do. He has the prettiest eyes. I try not to be so insecure with myself but its hard. I'm just trying to play it cool and see what happens. I'm trying not to talk about him a lot with my friends. I'm not telling them everything either. I figure if he sticks around I'd like there unbiased oppinion.
Oh and he has the best wardrobe of anyone I've seen. Lulu sweats, DC hoodies, DC shoes, sweet ball caps. Kinda wish his lip was still pierced. Thats hot. I feel like I need to be hotter standing next to him... fuck I need new clothes... an income first damnit.
Friday morning at 4am I got a text from my mom saying she was calling 911. She had to take a ambulance to the hospital. I stayed on the phone with her till they got there. Fuuuuck! My step dad is in Egypt for the last few months. My brothers phone was off, so she was all by herself. I had to call my sister and let her know mom was in the hospital. I had like no sleep that day. My mom has me as her executive so If anything happens to her I make the call. She's a DNR and she knows if it came down to it I would be the one to respect her wishes. When she had her gastric bypass something went wrong and she almost died. My step dad gave her a blood transfusion and she was pissed. It's her personal belief. I fully believe that its your life. We all die any way. If you dont want to prolong it then dont. If I was ever in a coma, two weeks is all I want to be kept on life support. If I cant stay alive on my own, let me go in peace.
Anyway, turned out to be her heart. She had a blood clot in the arttery that pumps blood out of her heart. The non invasive procedure worked, so far. So they dont need to operate right now. Thank god. She's home now. I had like 4 hrs of sleep that whole day and then I went out at night cause i promised my bestie. I didnt get to bed till like 5am. That never happens. Safe to say my body is paying me back. I gotta go do it again next weekend cause its her 21.
OMG I LOVE THE YOUNG MONEY CD. Listen to Shanell-Play in my Band ft Lil Wayne. "I'm a fuck her face off, fuck her waist off,... " and "Can you make me sound like the strings you're playin?"
What a week.
Soooo I spent some time with this dude named Ben last week. He's cool, I like him. Hope I get to spend more time with him. He's had an interesting life. The older I get the crazier peoples stories get. Including mine. He seems to be really honest, which I like. Tuesday he came over, we watched a movie, he met my best friend Kirstyn. He didn't try anything, I told him I wasnt looking to hook up. Couldnt really tell if he was into me. I mean I kinda thought but didnt want to assume. Cause he wasnt really coming onto me. He did tell me I'm gorgeous. He makes me smile. We kissed bye at the door.
I was totally thinking how awesome it would be if he came over the next morning and gave me cuddles... sure enough the next morning he asked if he could come crawl into bed with me... Totally made my week. He's so funny, he makes me laugh. "I'm cereal you guys" u had to be there. He's sweet too. I was having a smoke in my stoop, and he just rubbed my shoulders. I'm trying not to get my hopes up with seeing him again but I hope I do. He has the prettiest eyes. I try not to be so insecure with myself but its hard. I'm just trying to play it cool and see what happens. I'm trying not to talk about him a lot with my friends. I'm not telling them everything either. I figure if he sticks around I'd like there unbiased oppinion.
Oh and he has the best wardrobe of anyone I've seen. Lulu sweats, DC hoodies, DC shoes, sweet ball caps. Kinda wish his lip was still pierced. Thats hot. I feel like I need to be hotter standing next to him... fuck I need new clothes... an income first damnit.
Friday morning at 4am I got a text from my mom saying she was calling 911. She had to take a ambulance to the hospital. I stayed on the phone with her till they got there. Fuuuuck! My step dad is in Egypt for the last few months. My brothers phone was off, so she was all by herself. I had to call my sister and let her know mom was in the hospital. I had like no sleep that day. My mom has me as her executive so If anything happens to her I make the call. She's a DNR and she knows if it came down to it I would be the one to respect her wishes. When she had her gastric bypass something went wrong and she almost died. My step dad gave her a blood transfusion and she was pissed. It's her personal belief. I fully believe that its your life. We all die any way. If you dont want to prolong it then dont. If I was ever in a coma, two weeks is all I want to be kept on life support. If I cant stay alive on my own, let me go in peace.
Anyway, turned out to be her heart. She had a blood clot in the arttery that pumps blood out of her heart. The non invasive procedure worked, so far. So they dont need to operate right now. Thank god. She's home now. I had like 4 hrs of sleep that whole day and then I went out at night cause i promised my bestie. I didnt get to bed till like 5am. That never happens. Safe to say my body is paying me back. I gotta go do it again next weekend cause its her 21.
OMG I LOVE THE YOUNG MONEY CD. Listen to Shanell-Play in my Band ft Lil Wayne. "I'm a fuck her face off, fuck her waist off,... " and "Can you make me sound like the strings you're playin?"
What a week.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
I got this shit covered...
So I went to Invermere on Tuesday. It was the dogs bollocks man. The people who have that awesome house we party out in Chestermere. Own a sick house in Invermere. It cost bank. Nicest house I've ever been to. We only went for the night cause my girl had to work on Thur. I finally got to go swimming in a lake this year. Thank you God. It was just peacfull and relaxing. Good timing too. It would have been my 5yr wedding anniversary that day. I dont miss him. I wasnt sad. My thoughts were I'm glad it ended sooner then later. I also thought what a shame it was and if I ever remarried again how i'd feel about it. I think no matter what and no matter who I wouldn't expect them to stick around. Hard to believe in the sanctity of marriage when yours failed. I have friends who are divorced and are remarrying and I wonder how they can do it so easily.
So I'm pulling myself together as fast as possible. I applied for ei. I chased Aish, I should recieve the letter in a couple days saying if I was approved or not or If I need to appeal. Looking for a pt job. I requested my Highschool and college transcripts. I made an appointment with a guidance councelor at U of C. I have booked 8 medical appointments for the next few weeks. Signed up for a few more medical classes that dont start till November. I made an appointment with my Nutritionist because I need a kick in the ass. Hoping my buddy can take me. It's in Black Diamond, cause I used to live in Okotoks. My last pay cheque, I stocked up on groceries $200 worth. Stocked up on cat littler. Gotta stock up on cat food. Who knows how long I'll srtuggle for. The point is I've been through this before and I'm a lot wiser now. I hit the ground running. I'll be ok. I'm actually going to go to the budhist temple next week. I need a little more hope and faith.
Oh and my roommate told me he's moving sometime between oct/nov. So I gotta find a new roommate. Not bad, my roommate will have lasted 10/11 months. His friend from Revi is moving here so he's gunna live with her. Prob more in common. Him and I get a long pretty well tho. I think my friends may be a bit much for him lol they practiacally live here sometimes. I mean he's hardly ever home anyway but still.
Sooo POF... yah I'm on it again. Cause I'm a retard. I swear I just do it for entertainment. There are sooo many fucking idiots and disgusting pervs on there. Thank god for the block feature. If I get comments like, nice tits...block... wanna hook up...block. Oh so I had this jack ass td... "Hey fat girl you're cute"... blocked... I almost responded, hey paki you're fugly. LOL i'm not racist at all. I just get soooo mad. I bit my tongue and didn't respond. Honestly I wont be going on many dates cause I'm hella selective these days and I get really awkward when I'm not into the guy. I tend to just blurt out "yah sorry this isn't working for me, I'm gunna go." Hahaha I dont mean to be a DB but I get really awkward and I have the flight instinct. Some people creep me out.
Ok so I swear Tim changed his height I coulda thought the first time I saw it, it said 5'11 lol am I trippin or is that right? Also took me a while to figure out this on his profile "common now I do have manners" I think he means c'mon, unless thats an east coast thing I dunno. I'd make fun of him but it would be pointless. You know even after everything if he knocked on my door I dont think I'd say anything I'd probably just kiss him. Not like he has my new number. Didn't really give it out. How sick am I lol. This is fantasy land. It'll never happen. I dont even know what I did with that lighter. I may find it who knows. If Troy knocked on my door, I'd probably punch him for being such an ass. I dunno what i'd do really. That wont happen either so I'm not holding my breath.
One of my really good friends is homeless. I let him stay for a few weeks but my roommate has had enough and doesn't really like him. I'm not allowed to have him over anymore, not even to hang out. Guess it's a good thing my roommate is moving eh. He showed up the other day crying and all I wanted to do was hold him. It's not often men cry in front of me. It's just natural to want to comfort him. I told him I know how he feels, I was homeless too when I was 18. He already knew that. We just compared shitty lives and of course he was crying so I started crying. He told me if anything happens to him I need to find his son. He gave me all of the information I needed. Of course that hurt me even more. I wish I could do more. I'm one of the only friends he has.
I'm trying to keep my shit together mentally. It's hard when u just keep getting kicked when you go to get back up again. Over and over and over for the last how long? I actually cried in the shower yesterday. My body just isn't cooperating with me. Mon tue I had fire throughout my arm. Been a while since thats happened. I imagine it's like arthritis. Cant sleep without severe pain in my back. It would be nice to have someone there to hold me when I do cry.
I saw my therapist and physio therapist yesterday. It was so good to be back. My therapist. I swear I go through every emotion in that 1hr I see her. I actually love her. She's one of the sweetest people, and very easy to talk to. Really I just need that little bit extra support from her. She's very encouraging. It's hard going through all this alone.
My physio therapist. Also an angel. I leave there in less pain then when I firt came in. My 8th rib is out of place which is why i have the back pain. My body clenches every muscle in my body to protect my abdomen because of the pain. So we were working on muscle relaxation yesterday. It's kinda funny when someone is showing you how to sit down properly. Who knew there was a right and wrong way lol?
Hung out with Dave last weekend. Great to see him. We went to the pub and threw back 4 or 5 pints it was funny. He's like "How many are we at now?" Me "No idea" him "well u've had as many as me." I was like "dude I lost track at 3 or 4 haha." He's funny as hell. I havent met his gf yet. I'm sure at some point I will. Unfortunatly between the two of us I ended up sun burned and he ended up with heat stroke lol what a pair. He treated too, for lunch and drinks. Cost him over 100 bucks. What a good friend hey. You should see the tab when I party with my buddy back home lol. We can go to a resteraunt and down like 4 cosmos each. Lesson to you all. The limit of cosmos without a hangover is 3.
Honestly a lot of bad shit has happened this summer. A lot of good shit has happened too. Despite the bad shit it's been the best summer I've had in Calgary soo far. There are a couple things I'd like to do before the summer is over. We'll see if I get the chance.
Stay tuned for Invermere pics. Hope you're all enjoying ur summers xo
So I'm pulling myself together as fast as possible. I applied for ei. I chased Aish, I should recieve the letter in a couple days saying if I was approved or not or If I need to appeal. Looking for a pt job. I requested my Highschool and college transcripts. I made an appointment with a guidance councelor at U of C. I have booked 8 medical appointments for the next few weeks. Signed up for a few more medical classes that dont start till November. I made an appointment with my Nutritionist because I need a kick in the ass. Hoping my buddy can take me. It's in Black Diamond, cause I used to live in Okotoks. My last pay cheque, I stocked up on groceries $200 worth. Stocked up on cat littler. Gotta stock up on cat food. Who knows how long I'll srtuggle for. The point is I've been through this before and I'm a lot wiser now. I hit the ground running. I'll be ok. I'm actually going to go to the budhist temple next week. I need a little more hope and faith.
Oh and my roommate told me he's moving sometime between oct/nov. So I gotta find a new roommate. Not bad, my roommate will have lasted 10/11 months. His friend from Revi is moving here so he's gunna live with her. Prob more in common. Him and I get a long pretty well tho. I think my friends may be a bit much for him lol they practiacally live here sometimes. I mean he's hardly ever home anyway but still.
Sooo POF... yah I'm on it again. Cause I'm a retard. I swear I just do it for entertainment. There are sooo many fucking idiots and disgusting pervs on there. Thank god for the block feature. If I get comments like, nice tits...block... wanna hook up...block. Oh so I had this jack ass td... "Hey fat girl you're cute"... blocked... I almost responded, hey paki you're fugly. LOL i'm not racist at all. I just get soooo mad. I bit my tongue and didn't respond. Honestly I wont be going on many dates cause I'm hella selective these days and I get really awkward when I'm not into the guy. I tend to just blurt out "yah sorry this isn't working for me, I'm gunna go." Hahaha I dont mean to be a DB but I get really awkward and I have the flight instinct. Some people creep me out.
Ok so I swear Tim changed his height I coulda thought the first time I saw it, it said 5'11 lol am I trippin or is that right? Also took me a while to figure out this on his profile "common now I do have manners" I think he means c'mon, unless thats an east coast thing I dunno. I'd make fun of him but it would be pointless. You know even after everything if he knocked on my door I dont think I'd say anything I'd probably just kiss him. Not like he has my new number. Didn't really give it out. How sick am I lol. This is fantasy land. It'll never happen. I dont even know what I did with that lighter. I may find it who knows. If Troy knocked on my door, I'd probably punch him for being such an ass. I dunno what i'd do really. That wont happen either so I'm not holding my breath.
One of my really good friends is homeless. I let him stay for a few weeks but my roommate has had enough and doesn't really like him. I'm not allowed to have him over anymore, not even to hang out. Guess it's a good thing my roommate is moving eh. He showed up the other day crying and all I wanted to do was hold him. It's not often men cry in front of me. It's just natural to want to comfort him. I told him I know how he feels, I was homeless too when I was 18. He already knew that. We just compared shitty lives and of course he was crying so I started crying. He told me if anything happens to him I need to find his son. He gave me all of the information I needed. Of course that hurt me even more. I wish I could do more. I'm one of the only friends he has.
I'm trying to keep my shit together mentally. It's hard when u just keep getting kicked when you go to get back up again. Over and over and over for the last how long? I actually cried in the shower yesterday. My body just isn't cooperating with me. Mon tue I had fire throughout my arm. Been a while since thats happened. I imagine it's like arthritis. Cant sleep without severe pain in my back. It would be nice to have someone there to hold me when I do cry.
I saw my therapist and physio therapist yesterday. It was so good to be back. My therapist. I swear I go through every emotion in that 1hr I see her. I actually love her. She's one of the sweetest people, and very easy to talk to. Really I just need that little bit extra support from her. She's very encouraging. It's hard going through all this alone.
My physio therapist. Also an angel. I leave there in less pain then when I firt came in. My 8th rib is out of place which is why i have the back pain. My body clenches every muscle in my body to protect my abdomen because of the pain. So we were working on muscle relaxation yesterday. It's kinda funny when someone is showing you how to sit down properly. Who knew there was a right and wrong way lol?
Hung out with Dave last weekend. Great to see him. We went to the pub and threw back 4 or 5 pints it was funny. He's like "How many are we at now?" Me "No idea" him "well u've had as many as me." I was like "dude I lost track at 3 or 4 haha." He's funny as hell. I havent met his gf yet. I'm sure at some point I will. Unfortunatly between the two of us I ended up sun burned and he ended up with heat stroke lol what a pair. He treated too, for lunch and drinks. Cost him over 100 bucks. What a good friend hey. You should see the tab when I party with my buddy back home lol. We can go to a resteraunt and down like 4 cosmos each. Lesson to you all. The limit of cosmos without a hangover is 3.
Honestly a lot of bad shit has happened this summer. A lot of good shit has happened too. Despite the bad shit it's been the best summer I've had in Calgary soo far. There are a couple things I'd like to do before the summer is over. We'll see if I get the chance.
Stay tuned for Invermere pics. Hope you're all enjoying ur summers xo
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Growing tired of myself
So I got tired of reading all my blog posts that are exactly the same. So I took most of them that happened in the last year off.
So just a quick overview.
So Aug last year I gave up on Brad which was good timing. Sept Shawn came back, and left again, random. October there was Tim, the cute charming 23yr old from New Brunswick. Loved the accent. I love east coasters. Didn't stick around for more then a month. He woulda been a keeper. Of course I obsessed over Brad Shawn and mostly Tim. Oh Tim.
October I hit 230lbs wohoo. Talked at a convention held by the owner of GL fitness. Where I was working at the time, pt, sorting out my health. November pretty sure that's when I hit my -85lb weight loss weighing in at 227. Marriage baggage over. I believe November I started at the Chronic Pain Centre. My car also crapped out. December I had lunch with my ex husband and his gf so they could apologise for the way they treated me. Whatever past is in the past. It's history for a reason. Got my beautiful white Christmas dress that my friends bought me for hitting my goal. There was dan, that was so brief he's not even worth mentioning. My creepy roommate moved to BC and I got my new awesome Aussie housemate.
I dated some othere guys here and there before the new year but they were shitty dates. I obviously spent too much time obsessing over guys who really didn't matter, that I shouldn't have let into my life in the first place.
New Year, spent it alone. Feb started seeing Taylor. Who I spent a good amount of time with for two months. We became good friends. April I met Troy. I call him my fallen angel. He was one of the most beautiful men I've had in my life, next to Tim. Troy was trouble. Tim was just sweet. *sigh I dont even know, I'm delussional sometimes. I have a hard time letting people go.
I now longer worked for GL as of April
After Easter mon I took a sabbatical from sex. We're in the middle of Aug and I'm still going strong. Almost faultered once, recently. I spazzed and couldn't do it. It's not what I'm looking for and after all my obsessing I learned that I deserve better. Gotta hold out for the right one.
May I decided to try and go back to work FT . I deleted my online dating account in either May or June. It wasn't getting me anywhere but heart broken and I had been bitching about it for how many years?
We're in Aug and I dont have a job again. Trying not to panic and still trying to get my shit together. Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
My Family-
Mom came to visit in July, had a great time. First time I saw her in two years and it went pretty well.
My sister got her first apartment with her boyfriend.
My Brother just got into pierce college. My nephew turned one.
My other two Brothers in NY one turned 14 and the other 18. My step mother who I dont talk to was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I'm hoping she can fight it but it was a double mastectomy. I pray for the best for my brothers sake.
My Biological father turned 50 this year. I haven't seen him or my brother in 13yrs.
I'm gunna start making changes to my life.
So just a quick overview.
So Aug last year I gave up on Brad which was good timing. Sept Shawn came back, and left again, random. October there was Tim, the cute charming 23yr old from New Brunswick. Loved the accent. I love east coasters. Didn't stick around for more then a month. He woulda been a keeper. Of course I obsessed over Brad Shawn and mostly Tim. Oh Tim.
October I hit 230lbs wohoo. Talked at a convention held by the owner of GL fitness. Where I was working at the time, pt, sorting out my health. November pretty sure that's when I hit my -85lb weight loss weighing in at 227. Marriage baggage over. I believe November I started at the Chronic Pain Centre. My car also crapped out. December I had lunch with my ex husband and his gf so they could apologise for the way they treated me. Whatever past is in the past. It's history for a reason. Got my beautiful white Christmas dress that my friends bought me for hitting my goal. There was dan, that was so brief he's not even worth mentioning. My creepy roommate moved to BC and I got my new awesome Aussie housemate.
I dated some othere guys here and there before the new year but they were shitty dates. I obviously spent too much time obsessing over guys who really didn't matter, that I shouldn't have let into my life in the first place.
New Year, spent it alone. Feb started seeing Taylor. Who I spent a good amount of time with for two months. We became good friends. April I met Troy. I call him my fallen angel. He was one of the most beautiful men I've had in my life, next to Tim. Troy was trouble. Tim was just sweet. *sigh I dont even know, I'm delussional sometimes. I have a hard time letting people go.
I now longer worked for GL as of April
After Easter mon I took a sabbatical from sex. We're in the middle of Aug and I'm still going strong. Almost faultered once, recently. I spazzed and couldn't do it. It's not what I'm looking for and after all my obsessing I learned that I deserve better. Gotta hold out for the right one.
May I decided to try and go back to work FT . I deleted my online dating account in either May or June. It wasn't getting me anywhere but heart broken and I had been bitching about it for how many years?
We're in Aug and I dont have a job again. Trying not to panic and still trying to get my shit together. Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
My Family-
Mom came to visit in July, had a great time. First time I saw her in two years and it went pretty well.
My sister got her first apartment with her boyfriend.
My Brother just got into pierce college. My nephew turned one.
My other two Brothers in NY one turned 14 and the other 18. My step mother who I dont talk to was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I'm hoping she can fight it but it was a double mastectomy. I pray for the best for my brothers sake.
My Biological father turned 50 this year. I haven't seen him or my brother in 13yrs.
I'm gunna start making changes to my life.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Birthday
Had a great weekend. Niki Kirstyn and Chris my brother from another mother came.
Started my birthday right with a cooked breakfast and a margarita by the pool at 10:30am. Got my tan on. Was cross faded all weekend. Horseback riding and white water rafting Sun. My ass is chapped from that horse. Damn thing loved galloping down hill as fast as it could. I'd be an ass hole too if I had me on my back.
Invited Troy but no surprise he wasn't there. I only invited him cause Kirstyn said she had a dream I told her he was coming to my birthday. Would've loved to have him there. Haven't seen him in over 3 mo's. She's like u know ur never gunna see him again right? I sighed and said yah. I was surprised I even saw him a second time. Used Tims lighter to make a wish cause I didn't have a candle lol. My mom wants my flanle shirt but it's my shirt that reminds me of him. I dont wear it but its a memory. Same with my holy jeans too many memories to throw out.
Anyways the weekend was much deserved I needed to get away. As soon as I saw c.o.p on the way back I was gutted. Love being out of town doing outdoorsy things. Loved seeing all the wild life. I miss travelling. A lot. I'm gunna start saving for my xmas trip to my tropical destination of choice. It just felt so good to leave my problems behind. Of course as soon as I got to town they all smacked me in the face.
Taylor has been staying with me all week driving me mad. He's leaving td. Told him sun was his last night sleeping here. I was out of town all weekend. Creapy stalker ass hole prick from the bus stop harrassed me again. Fuck me, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE PSYCHO!!!! At least I'm not that fucking nuts. Shit. I did forget all my meds at home this weekend. TM should be interesting.
Most of my bday when I was alone was spent reflecting on my "relationships" if u could call them that. I haven't seen anyone since Troy. It's just too painful to hurt myself with guys who just dissapear. I want someone who wants to get to know the awesome and wonderful me. I come of ass such a retard when they take off. It's a love hate thing. I love when they're with me I hate them because they arent. Everytime I see a hot girl in some skimpy outfit I get all jealous and pissed. Kinda have the urge to kick skanky girls ass's. It's funny cause my friends point at a hot girl and say skank. I laugh. They know me too well.
It was great chillin with my peeps. Rafting was awesome. It was sooo not sexy me being in a wet suit. 3 people fell off our raft. Including the guide who fell off twice. It was pretty funny. He was hot too. If I only had a chance. Meh he's only here working on his summer break any way. Not what I'm going for. I do like the guys who like the outdoors. We're planning a camping trip, possibly september long.
Anyway better get back to my grey goose lol. The weekend isn't over...
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Happy Birthday To Me
Wooot Let the party begin in T-2 Days. We're tearing it up in Canmore thanks to mumzie for letting me use her vacation home.
Happy 24th B-day to Tim. Not like he'll read this but I told him I'd never bother him again so I'm making good on that. I have love hate feelings for him. He's like top of my list for most awesome guys but he's still a dick.
Man I had this missed call the other day... WHO THE FUCK IS RICHARD LANDRY??!?! Voicemail message was a cough. Fuck me for going to bed at 7.30 lol.
Works been good minus the skitzophranic psychopath who I met at the bus stop who wont leave me the fuck alone. Seriously I made staff at work aware and next is calling the cops. See this is what a real stalker is like. He knows when my lunch break is and when I get off work. FML I'm keeping my keys in my hands and thank fuck i took self defense.
Seriously tho Stampede was the shit!! My first one.. I dont know how many bottles of booze we snuck in but I had a great time. I was so drunk I was going to go on the drop of doom. I HATE HEIGHTS LOL! I was next to get on, they cut it off at me. Fuckin starts poring down and I dont get to go on. Thank you god. What was I thinking LOL. The guys I was chillin with fucked off to the bar I was soaked but found my friends, thankfully. We had so much fun. Then we went on the giant swing. Me n my girl were over the weight limit but she convinced me to go on everytime we went higher it clicked and she was like omg please dont go higher which of course freaked me out. So while I was up there "I prayed to a god that I dont believe in" and said I would go to church lol, so I have to make good. It's not that I dont believe in god I hope he's up there but fuck if I know. All I can do is live my life the best I can.
So I got this sick ass belt buckle check out the pics. The braided girl is my bestie Kirstyn. The pic of the three of us is me Tay and my other bestie Niki. The rosta Monkey. I talked this cute Carni into giving it to us. Skill baby lol. I'm actually working on my flirting skills haha I busted out a line to this dude at stampede. Tays like where the fuck is my lighter this dude was like I'll give u a lighter if u give me a smoke and I was like I'll give you a smoke if u give me ur number hahaha. I didn't even want it but yup I was drunk enough to pull a line lol.
So my bday weekend. Heading to canmore tm with my bestie. Some friends are showin up Sat night to come party for my actual bday. My girl is getting me a cake. I told her I want a penis one with chocolate frosting lmao. That would be epic haha. We're rafting and horseback riding sun at Rafters 6 Ranch. It'll be an awesome weekend. I'm taking it easy on the booze. She's bringing a lot. After my last binge in April I haven't had a hangover since.
I look cute td so I can flirt with the cutie on the bus. I only get to see him Thur and Fri but he totally makes my morning. :P
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