Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Feelings

So I went to the doctor yesterday. Bad news ... I was hoping when I got into the chronic pain centre they would be able to fix me up quick so I could get back to work by fall ... She said that wouldn't be the case. She said it's going to be a really slow process. I mean I'm fortunate, I'm going to have a team of specialists trying to help me manage the pain. She upped my medicine yesterday it's gone from 25mg to 100 in the matter of a few months. I've gotten rid of the percs because they are a shitty shitty drug. My memory loss isn't caused from the headaches. It could be caused from the vitamin B deficiency or maybe the Fybromyalgia. I have to get the Vitamin B tested again in 2 weeks. If it hasn't gone back up I need to get shots :( daily I think. How lame is that.

I've regressed at the gym. Probably because I've felt like ass the last few weeks. I'm not gaining weight which is good. I'm just not losing it as fast as I know I could be which is frustrating. I've asked a friend of a friend to try and help me sell my car since it's not going anywhere fast. I want her gone and I want her gone now. I want to go home for my birthday. I'm tired of looking at my four walls.

A lot happened last week. I basically confronted two friends about using me. Of course they both got defensive. One actually got into a fight with me. Messed up my wrist and shoulder. What can you do. It's not like this is the worst I've had. Just unfortunate when u feel like your walking on egg shells.

The guy I care about contacted me ... said he plans on seeing me again ... the question is when???? It obviously makes me happy, but that's what he said last time. It's nice to know he thinks about me. I swear he moves at snail pace lol. Ugh he's lucky I like him.

Other guys keep contacting me and I keep brushing them off. Perfectly good guys. Very attractive guys!!! It's just frustrating.

I don't feel great today ... I just wish the guy I like would hit me up for a cuddle lol.

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